My relationship column ironically hits a little close to home this time around being as how I just got into a relationship yesterday, so I figured I would blog about brand new relationship.
He said, “I really like you and I think we should be together” and I said yes, thus beginning a new and exciting relationship.
While getting into a new relationship, whether it is a gay or straight one, can be exhilarating and blissful, there are a few crucial things that need to happen in order to keep a new couple, well… blissful.
There are hundreds of online articles about new relationships all of which giving advice something like “communication is key, always be honest, be yourself” and so on, but what a lot of those articles don’t say is what not to do.
One key thing not to do is have sex right away. While this may seem like a “yeah I already knew this” phenomenon, jumping right into something so intimate without knowing the other person makes the relationship die quicker before it even started.
Make sure you tell the other about your vices. Talking about bad habits is a good way to show the other that you want them there in the long run.
Don’t spill all your personal details about your ex. It might really easy to bash the him or her, but all this does is show your new boyfriend or girlfriend how bitter and resentful you which is definitely a negative way to start a relationship. If he or she asks questions about your ex, answer them but don’t pour all those old feelings out. This new relationship is about you and whomever you’re with, not you and him or her and your ex. Leaving it alone is your best bet.
Getting all of the ugly stuff out of the way is the hard part, it’s also important to enjoy each other, fully.
Go out and do things. Go to a coffee shop, see a band, go to the movies and take road trips. The couple that goes places together stays together. Immediately becoming the “stay at home, being bored” can get old really fast. Being active keeps things exciting and new and that is exactly what a new relationship should be.
Honesty and trust is a given, but really being honest and really trusting the other is key. If you see this new and exciting relationship going somewhere really give it your all, make it all it can be.
Another important aspect is not caring about what the people around you think. Being together is a big step in itself and sometimes outsiders can easily influence the relationship, but only if you let it. So make sure you’re in the relationship for the right reasons and not to make the people around you happy.
Lastly, have fun with it and try not to worry about every detail too much. The exciting part of the whole relationship is having someone unexpectedly wonderful come into your life and change everything forever. Trust me, I know.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
The long distant relationship: can it work?
There isn’t anything worse than being in a relationship with the one you love when he or she lives 10,000 miles away or half way across the continent. The hardships of a long distant relationship, some couples simply can’t take the space while others find ways to work around it.
Long distant relationships can work; it’s all about using your imagination, and following a few important guidelines.
First, establish the relationship rules in the beginning. Not knowing the rules of what is and is not expected of the other person never helps better a relationship. It is important to know if the relationship is considered an open relationship where both are free to casually date other people since their significant other cannot be near them. Setting the ‘do’s’ and ‘don’ts’ is essential.
Second, communicate every single day, whether is be via e-mail, AIM, web cam, text message, mail or phone, communication is all a long distant relationship has to survive. If there is no communication it is very easy to start feeling insecure about the other and that’s when arguments arise.
Next, expressing your feelings is so crucial, how else is the relationship supposed to grow? If one feels lonely and depressed not being able to be with the other everyday then that needs to be discussed. Talk about it; make sure to hold nothing back. Express those feelings until your blue in the face!
Show him or her what the other means to you, send care packages to show how much the relationship means to you. CD’s with notes attached, maybe make a picture frame with the picture of you two inside, or if you are really talented, knit a blanket and spray it with your favorite perfume or cologne. May sound cheesy, but it’s the little things that can make or break a long distant relationship.
Getting creative and thinking of unique things to do really is the key to making a long distant relationship last. A few articles on the Internet suggest watching your favorite television show or your favorite movie together.
Some couples may not realize this, but another very important aspect of a long distant relationship is going to visit one another. Visits are absolutely necessary in keeping the relationship alive, as humans, physical contact is crucial. Making sacrifices to show one another that they are in this for the long run and even thought they lives thousands of miles away they can make it work.
Another important thing to remember is that anything is possible, so if you really want to stay together and make it work it will. Long distant relationships are the hardest to survive but if a couple can make it work, then that says a lot about their relationship in the future, it means they can withstand anything.
While some couples may seem long distant relationships are impossible, like me, they really aren’t, commitment and true dedication is the key. If two people really have the desire to make it work, it will, just have to have faith.
Marcos Breton: a realist.
It’s safe to say that I really dislike talking about politics. It’s so dry, and so boring and it seems like the same thing is said over and over just in a different context or about a different state. So when I saw the columnist I had to choose from on the Sacramento Bee’s website it seemed like all of them just talk about politics, so annoying!
Then I came across Marcos Breton who surprised me. While he does do his fair share of writing about boring politics he also writes about real stuff, you know, things of interested to real people like gay marriage, sports, and shocking courtroom decisions.
He is what I like to call a real columnist. Someone who is able to write about a bunch of different topics and write about them well.
One thing I did notice that is a big “no-no” in the column writing world is that he started out asking a question in his “Bad vote on gay marriage a wake-up call at American River College” article when he starts out asking a question, “What do you do when a college student tells you he is against gay marriage because he fears the wrath of God?” While the question is a pretty interesting one it still is too cliché to start out by asking a question, right Professor Fitzgerald?
While Breton did get his point across that the student at American River College are against same sex marriage he did it in a way that was not confusing, it was very easy to read and he leaves his audience thinking at the end of his article which I really like because it makes us ponder the possibilities of whatever he is writing about.
A good example of this is when in the same article he states, “ARC proves that. But the students at the school also prove that democracy works. You just have to pay attention.”
Another article titled, “Next time, you could be a panhandling victim.” He starts off by writing about his experiences with panhandling in downtown Sacramento as well in the Arden Fair parking lot. Of his experience in the Arden Fair mall parking lot, “She carries a baby whom she doesn't shield from Sacramento's blazing summer sun. Also in tow is a preteen boy, possibly her son. This lad never looks up. One wonders if his spirit has been broken from being party to such a pitiable scene?”
When he writes about this I can actually pictures myself there with him as he writes it, which to me is so crucial in good column writing. I like to feel a part of the experience and not be looking in on it even though I literally am.
All in all I really like his style of writing because he just makes sense and his wording is not confusing as most columnists I find are. There is nothing worse than trying to decipher the meaning of what I’m reading and Breton makes this especially easy.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Child-relationship: Is there such a thing as TMI?
Generally speaking, your parents are supposed to be there for you whenever you need them, you confide in them when you have problems and they come up with the perfect solution. Your parents are there to bail you out of trouble, if you were to ever get in any.
When you have a bad day at school and little Timmy hit you, you would go home and tell your parents and they would make sure something was done about it. Your parents are your everything. But as children grow up and get older there comes a time when some things, well a lot of things, are better left unsaid.
So where does one draw the line? What is safe to talk about with your parents without them judging you in the vilest way?
The first obvious one that probably should never be discussed with a parent is sex. If it’s not extremely awkward, and your parents aren’t sex therapist like Gaylord Focker’s mom was in “Meet the Fockers”, to talk about sex with them then there is something very wrong with you. Besides the “birds and the bees” talk, sex should never be discussed with parents at any time.
Can you imagine telling your parents, “Yeah mom and dad, I had this banging orgy last night, you should’ve been there”? I didn’t think so. As long as parents know you are using some kind of protection there should be no worries on their end and then it should immediately be dropped and never mentioned again.
But then there are more complicated and serious things that usually should not be discussed with a parent. For instance, when you get into a fight with a good friend over something serious. Think about it, telling your parents about a fight you had with one of your best friend and telling your mom or dad all about is only going to give them your side of the side and as we all know there are two sides to a story, so it is a little bit biased.
And then once you and your friend are done being mad at each other and go back to hanging out everyday your mom or dad might be like “well I thought you were mad at her? What she did was pretty messed up.” So to avoid confusion, it is a lot easier to keep your mouth closed on BFF (best friends forever) disputes.
Another issue that generally should not be discussed between a parent and a child is how much drugs the child does. Unless the parent can see drugs are clearly interfering with the child’s education and or work life.
“Recreational” drug use as some high school and college kids like to call it is usually just a phase. Some may go through this phase in high school, some may go through it in college, some may stretch that phase through both, but the point is as long as it truly is a phase it generally should not be talked about. Talking about it with a parent will only make your mom or dad worry more than they already do, and we don’t want to give our parents heart attacks do we? Of course not.
A parent’s life is hard enough, so the next time you think about telling your mom about that drunken rage you went to last Friday where you had unprotected sex with a complete stranger and did four lines of coke, just hold off on that one, seriously.
When you have a bad day at school and little Timmy hit you, you would go home and tell your parents and they would make sure something was done about it. Your parents are your everything. But as children grow up and get older there comes a time when some things, well a lot of things, are better left unsaid.
So where does one draw the line? What is safe to talk about with your parents without them judging you in the vilest way?
The first obvious one that probably should never be discussed with a parent is sex. If it’s not extremely awkward, and your parents aren’t sex therapist like Gaylord Focker’s mom was in “Meet the Fockers”, to talk about sex with them then there is something very wrong with you. Besides the “birds and the bees” talk, sex should never be discussed with parents at any time.
Can you imagine telling your parents, “Yeah mom and dad, I had this banging orgy last night, you should’ve been there”? I didn’t think so. As long as parents know you are using some kind of protection there should be no worries on their end and then it should immediately be dropped and never mentioned again.
But then there are more complicated and serious things that usually should not be discussed with a parent. For instance, when you get into a fight with a good friend over something serious. Think about it, telling your parents about a fight you had with one of your best friend and telling your mom or dad all about is only going to give them your side of the side and as we all know there are two sides to a story, so it is a little bit biased.
And then once you and your friend are done being mad at each other and go back to hanging out everyday your mom or dad might be like “well I thought you were mad at her? What she did was pretty messed up.” So to avoid confusion, it is a lot easier to keep your mouth closed on BFF (best friends forever) disputes.
Another issue that generally should not be discussed between a parent and a child is how much drugs the child does. Unless the parent can see drugs are clearly interfering with the child’s education and or work life.
“Recreational” drug use as some high school and college kids like to call it is usually just a phase. Some may go through this phase in high school, some may go through it in college, some may stretch that phase through both, but the point is as long as it truly is a phase it generally should not be talked about. Talking about it with a parent will only make your mom or dad worry more than they already do, and we don’t want to give our parents heart attacks do we? Of course not.
A parent’s life is hard enough, so the next time you think about telling your mom about that drunken rage you went to last Friday where you had unprotected sex with a complete stranger and did four lines of coke, just hold off on that one, seriously.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
The much talked about Presidential debate review
Finally Obama and McCain go head to head in the Presidential debate attacking and discussing issues such as the bailout, healthcare, the war in Iraq and finally why the other should not be the next president of the United States.
Aside from them both attacking each other saying the other does not know what the difference between tactic and strategy is, both also discussed complex issues such as education and families in the United States.
One quality that McCain has that the past presidents have is that he loves to hear himself talk. That is one of the most annoying qualities a president can have because that means he is not willing to listen to others around him only say how he feels on a situation and have that be the last word.
When Obama speaks he makes perfect sense. He uses intelligent words but doesn’t muddy up those words so that what his message is not completely lost. When McCain speaks it appears as though he is searching for the correct words to say, he almost looks unprepared.
Another interesting thing I noticed during the debate is the when McCain speaks Obama looks right at him and listens to what he has to say, when Obama speaks McCain looks down as if he does not know how to begin to rebut anything Obama has to say. This makes me think McCain is not prepared for the allegations against him or that he is lying to make himself look better.
Obama sounds hopeful for the future of our country and McCain seems pessimistic and doubtful. We cannot have someone in office who really does not see changes happening, we need someone like Obama who is excited to get in there and get things done.
Out of the entire debate I think McCain made one good point, but only just one. Obama talked about how he was against the war from the beginning and how back in 2003 he said he was against it, which was a bold thing to do. He also said that we should have gotten the troops out a long time ago since we did capture the one person we went there in the first place to find: Osama Bin Laden.
Then McCain said that it is not the future president’s job to say we should not have been in Iraq in the first place it is his job to figure out to clean up the mess Bush left. And this surprised me because for one that was the smart and obvious answer but it was also showed that yeah, we messed up bad over there but dwelling on the past really is not going to do us any good, which is very true.
In conclusion, Obama seemed to be the more prepared and honest of the two political scumbags, but what do I know?
Aside from them both attacking each other saying the other does not know what the difference between tactic and strategy is, both also discussed complex issues such as education and families in the United States.
One quality that McCain has that the past presidents have is that he loves to hear himself talk. That is one of the most annoying qualities a president can have because that means he is not willing to listen to others around him only say how he feels on a situation and have that be the last word.
When Obama speaks he makes perfect sense. He uses intelligent words but doesn’t muddy up those words so that what his message is not completely lost. When McCain speaks it appears as though he is searching for the correct words to say, he almost looks unprepared.
Another interesting thing I noticed during the debate is the when McCain speaks Obama looks right at him and listens to what he has to say, when Obama speaks McCain looks down as if he does not know how to begin to rebut anything Obama has to say. This makes me think McCain is not prepared for the allegations against him or that he is lying to make himself look better.
Obama sounds hopeful for the future of our country and McCain seems pessimistic and doubtful. We cannot have someone in office who really does not see changes happening, we need someone like Obama who is excited to get in there and get things done.
Out of the entire debate I think McCain made one good point, but only just one. Obama talked about how he was against the war from the beginning and how back in 2003 he said he was against it, which was a bold thing to do. He also said that we should have gotten the troops out a long time ago since we did capture the one person we went there in the first place to find: Osama Bin Laden.
Then McCain said that it is not the future president’s job to say we should not have been in Iraq in the first place it is his job to figure out to clean up the mess Bush left. And this surprised me because for one that was the smart and obvious answer but it was also showed that yeah, we messed up bad over there but dwelling on the past really is not going to do us any good, which is very true.
In conclusion, Obama seemed to be the more prepared and honest of the two political scumbags, but what do I know?
Monday, October 6, 2008
A closer look at Family Guy
Peter Griffin if like the animated version of Al Bundy from Married with Children, he's funny, not so bright and obnoxious. The only difference between the two "Family Guy's" is that Peter makes being a stupid funny guy more enjoyable being that he is well… animated.
This show takes place in the fictional town of Quahog, Rode Island. Its main characters are Peter, Lois, their three children Meg, Chris and Stewie and the family's dog, Brian, who talks. This adult show centers on the family living with each other in a dysfunctional and often times degrading manner.
The main characters' main objectives are as follows: Stewie has elaborate plans of taking over the world and killing his mother, Lois, Chris and Meg are two teenagers dealing with the every day struggles of high school life, Peter is a fun-loving father who often puts his needs before the needs of others, and Brian is the pessimistic alcohol who is secretly in love with Lois.
In the past this show has been compared to another animated series called South Park. There have been allegations that one show has been copying but in the end, ratings speak for themselves. Both are animated, but there are many differences between the two shows. South Park is about four kids, Kyle, Stan, Cartman, and Kenny, who go to school and find adventurous ways of getting into mischief. Both are adult shows not suitable for children and both are seen as purely for entertainment purposes.
In conclusion the show is well written and highly comedic. The characters each have their own individual dilemmas and personalities and when they clash with one another that is when the true comedy can be seen. The amount of violence and vulgar language is kept at a minimum so that is does not take away from the show it merely adds to it. Overall, Family Guy is enjoyable to watch and being apart of their adventures each and every episode is more than worthwhile it's "gigity gigity goo!"
This show takes place in the fictional town of Quahog, Rode Island. Its main characters are Peter, Lois, their three children Meg, Chris and Stewie and the family's dog, Brian, who talks. This adult show centers on the family living with each other in a dysfunctional and often times degrading manner.
The main characters' main objectives are as follows: Stewie has elaborate plans of taking over the world and killing his mother, Lois, Chris and Meg are two teenagers dealing with the every day struggles of high school life, Peter is a fun-loving father who often puts his needs before the needs of others, and Brian is the pessimistic alcohol who is secretly in love with Lois.
In the past this show has been compared to another animated series called South Park. There have been allegations that one show has been copying but in the end, ratings speak for themselves. Both are animated, but there are many differences between the two shows. South Park is about four kids, Kyle, Stan, Cartman, and Kenny, who go to school and find adventurous ways of getting into mischief. Both are adult shows not suitable for children and both are seen as purely for entertainment purposes.
In conclusion the show is well written and highly comedic. The characters each have their own individual dilemmas and personalities and when they clash with one another that is when the true comedy can be seen. The amount of violence and vulgar language is kept at a minimum so that is does not take away from the show it merely adds to it. Overall, Family Guy is enjoyable to watch and being apart of their adventures each and every episode is more than worthwhile it's "gigity gigity goo!"
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